Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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