Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
