Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
