Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
