just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
