i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
