well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
