Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
