You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
