omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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