Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
