I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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