Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm having to shit out rocks
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