I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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