lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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