I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize