At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
