On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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