the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
