my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
