please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
