just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
