you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
