you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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