Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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