i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
