i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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