I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
