is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
