420 ftw
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
