69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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