I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
