I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
