No I am not eating basil off your cock
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
