Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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