i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Enjoy the penises
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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