We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
