You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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