I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
