Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
