yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
