Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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