I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Randomize
