i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
