a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just found puke in my bra..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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