you guys were way drunker than both of me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
is wine microwaveable?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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