all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
