I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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