Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
