how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
